“Often as I walked out under the stars, looking up into those silent depths with unspeakable longing for some answer to the wordless questions within me” – C.M.C.
| part 2 |
To refresh from my previous post, I have always seen this quote in two parts;
- often as I walked out under those stars, looking up into those silent depths
- unspeakable longing for some answer to the wordless questions within me
“At the ledge of the Abyss, the precipice of the self, the aversion of thine eyes… from the Abyss… to within the Self.”
That’s how we ended part one, on my realization that the answers to the wordless questions within me might not be found in the Abyss after all these years of searching, but might simply be found in…. wait for it….. [its a shocker]….
This silly old goose you say? Somewhere in…. here? I mean, I knew the questions were inside myself, but now you are telling me the answers too?
*insert head explosion*
| a pause now, a slight delay. life just dealt me a blow. |
| Read the post titled: Scared & Speechless |
Let me now get back to what we were talking about, picking up the shrapnel from my head explosion….. and the realization sets in of the magnitude of this perspective. Quit looking for answers out there, and start looking for answers in here.
but this inevitably leads me down an entirely new rabbit whole, does it not?
I must now start again at the beginning, at the complete absence of the Universe, and re-settle into the quiet calm of the lone. Where do I even begin, if I is what I am trying to answer?
*circular reasoning, tangent averted*
I am ill-prepared to look inside. I have spent a lifetime, many lifetimes, looking out there, foolishly focused on the Abyss.
I must….. refine. I must…. re-imagine. I must begin.
“As for me, count me in the determined company of those who choose Life and Yes, no matter what” – Robert Fulghum
I struggled to get to the end of this post.